Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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