I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
