She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize