I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
