He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
