hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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