somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
