It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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