i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
