the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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