I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
