Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
