I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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