I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
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It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
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He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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