i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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