I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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