sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
