wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
