i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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