fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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