this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
It's like God shit irony all over that family
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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