Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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