So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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