I can tuck mytits in my pants
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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