so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
God, I missed his penis.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
