I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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