people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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