Nicole vs. Life
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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