Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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