I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Randomize
