Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
We should try that some time.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
being pregnant is like rehab
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.