i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.