People with herpes should wear stickers.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
