I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
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You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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