mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
