Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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