So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
