just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
