The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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