My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize