i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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