I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize