How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
