wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
