How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
