Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Cover your peen. We're going out.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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