My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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