just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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