apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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