i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just tell him i said nine months
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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