I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
