Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
