your thong is hanging out like whoa
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
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