All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just had sex on a roof
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
