Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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