i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
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I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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