i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
