i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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