i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
foreskin is a definite game changer
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
