tell your sister to shave her snatch
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
